Every once in a while, I like to open my journal and spill my inner thoughts onto the screen. Here. For you all to read…
9.12.2010 9:50am – on couch, open door, sunny, cool, quiet
I am alone. Alone in my house except for Comet who is picking through her wings and tail leaving an ash of bird dander on the arm of the couch, and the fish who swim silently under the hum and bubble of the filter.
I am alone with my book and terrified. I’m beginning to despise my characters and be bored with the whole plot line. Is this normal? Do I press on, muddle through with the passion of designing monotonous sales reports in Excel? Or do I take it as a “do over,” the white flag of defeat waving at my tired, relieved eyes?
Does every author go through the boredom phase? How can they? If the writer is bored, certainly the reader will be bored, too.
I need more writer interaction, camaraderie to bounce these feelings of doubt and despair off of. Will they tell me they feel the same? Or, is this just another procrastination tactic, like doing character journals or creating Twitter accounts for my Protag and Antag?
I need to just do the work. Best I can. Read what I have. Read it again. Mark the places that make me squirm of embarrassment or gloss over because it is bland and weak like a wallflower.
Then I need to get in my character’s head, feel what they feel and do the “what if?” exercise. I tell my students to do this; I should practice what I preach.
But is it normal to already be thinking of the next book? Feeling the anticipation of getting to know new characters, new stories, new settings, kind of like the beginnings of a dating relationship. The wonder, the awe, the highlighted sensitivity to every emotion and exterior feeling in the air.
Yes, I guess that is normal, otherwise how would authors produce books so quickly? They have to have their inner muse weaving and developing a small seed of a new idea under the surface of revising the current project.
Can anyone else relate?
Update: 9.27.11 – I’m STILL revising said novel from this journal entry. Though, I think I had a breakthrough on Friday. Yes, another one. Sheesh!
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